Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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