Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
