What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
