I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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