I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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