hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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