is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
