Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
