So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize