dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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