apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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