There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Someone shattered a urinal.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
