I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
