Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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