i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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