hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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