Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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