Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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