Got a toothbrush?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How's work?
Spinning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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