is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
