he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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