i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
