I wanna bring you to show and tell
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
