I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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