Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize