does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
