I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
