when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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