I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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