It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
