I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My dick has a subreddit
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize