They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
