I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
