I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
