the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
