No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
