I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
