He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize