STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
