My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
