Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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