I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm too high and old for this...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
