I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize