I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
