Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize