I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
