OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
