He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
