It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
