I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
