you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
