living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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