I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
