This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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