Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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