is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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