Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
