am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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