I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
no. you can't hotbox the world.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
