Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
