remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
