Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
