small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
