this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
