I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
that's an acceptable place to lick
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
