Why are handjobs necessary in class?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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